dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He passed out mid-signature
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
