Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
