I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
