Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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