So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
NoShamevember. You game?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
