grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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