Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Randomize
