I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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