Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
