so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
