I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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