It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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