Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
