im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
