I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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