Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
