definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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