Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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