i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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