it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
