I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
