Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you win again, gameday.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will pee on everything he values.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
