I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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