I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
