Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
