Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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