Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
