i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
