Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
