Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she peed on how many people?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
3 2 1 whiskey
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
