There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
