too bad you live with your parents still
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
