my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
