He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Are my feet made of real feet?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
