my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
