Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
