I just saw a hot homeless man
I cockslap morals
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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