whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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