I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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