I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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