Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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