my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
