I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
