How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
