is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
