Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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