Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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