Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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