you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
