if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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