just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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